10 Years: 10 Episodes The Sopranos: May 23, 2004

This year was a tough call for my 10/10 decision. Lost premiered with a fantastic pilot in September and a great episode with Locke's backstory called "Walkabout." The Wire had a great season (every season was great, of course) that I don't want to spoil cuz at least one reader hasn't seen yet!. Then, I thought, the finale of Angel was great, representative Joss stuff.

Still, in looking back at eps from 2004 that I saw at the time they aired the one that made me go "daaaaaaaaamn" viscerally was the Sopranos "Long Term Parking." This clip above gives you a little flavor of the excruciating extended tension that the episode gave us. You know what's coming, you don't want to watch, yet...you do anyway. That's good TV.

No Snappy Title Here: Just Help

American Red Cross: Send a $10 Donation by Texting ‘Haiti’ to 90999

Clinton Foundation: provide immediate relief and long-term support to earthquake survivors. Text "HAITI" to 20222 and $10 will be donated to relief efforts, charged to your cell phone bill.

Most hospitals are destroyed or not functional Visit Doctors Without Borders if that's your thing: www.doctorswithoutborders.org

There are obviously many, many other agency looking for help. I'd go with an established one to be on the safe side but choose your preference. According to news reports, they aren't seeking traveling volunteers (too risky) or for you to send supplies (too chaotic) but any donation you can make will get to those trained in disaster relief, so do what you can. (And in the meantime if you want to boycott those like Rush and Pat that want to turn this into a racial/political issue, that would be cool, too).

Peace

10 Years: 10 Episodes Arrested Development Nov. 9 2003

Ahead of its time, predictive of the economic meltdown and corporate crazyness that marked the end of the 00's, and just damn, damn, damn funny, Arrested Development was hands down, funniest comedy of the decade (30 Rock you came so very close). If you haven't picked up the DVD's (regularly on sale at Target for $14 or so) then I scoff at you. That is right--I scoff. I can't think of a bad episode over its unfortunately shortened three year run (same old Fox story, multiple time slots, failure to market, etc., etc.) The show premiered in '03 and episode two: "Top Banana" is as good as any to recognize! Check out pre-Superbad Michael Cera stealing the show constantly. And, keep in mind, there's always money in a banana stand.

10 Years: 10 Episodes 24: May 21, 2002

24 shouldn't have worked. In 2001-2002, Kiefer Sutherland was considered way past his prime after some decent movies in the 80s and was maybe best known for having ruined a relationship/engagement with Julia Roberts by allegedly enjoying strippers a little too (allegedly) much (but really, don't we all). Further, tv studios just don't like producing shows that require one to watch continuous episodes in a row because that's not where the syndication money lies. And then, strike three, right before the pilot aired with a plot involving a plane being blown up, the U.S. suffered the worst attack on its soil since Pearl Harbor--involving, you know, planes and some seriously disturbing blowing up images.

But 24 worked. Eight seasons later it's still kicking. Yes, Jack Bauer has had some ridiculously bad days. Yes, the Constitutional structure is kinda taking a beating cuz there've been way too many Presidents on this show. And, yes, season 1 has way too much of his daughter and a cougar. However, Season 1 also has the fantastic Dennis Haysbert in a charismatic performance as our first African American presidential candiate with "a real chance of winning" ('natch, who knew), and this ep, the end of Season 1, was a non stop thrill ride (spoiler alert) where Jack's wife is killed needlessly at the end as an act of revenge after you think the happy ending just hap'd. The finale of S1 established the reason I still watch the show today. You never know what kinda crazy shit the producers are gonna pull next. It's still a freaking thrill ride. (Sure, Kiefer is still a little wild offscreen, lol, but damn if that crazy doesn't come off great on the tube.)

(The clip below contains scenes from the first three years of 24--but it gives you the point)

10 Years: 10 Episodes The West Wing: May 16, 2001

Replacing Aaron Sorkin with John Wells for Season Four of the West Wing equates hypothetically to replacing Roger Ebert with, well, me (not a good idea, if you were wondering). The first three seasons of The West Wing I submit to you are as strong a body of work ever put on the home screen. That work arguably hit its zenith with the finale of Season Two. President Bartlet and God have a good old fashion mano-a mano showdown in the National Cathedral regarding the loss of treasured friend and presidental secretary Dolores Landingham in a meaningless car accident. Put your politics at the door and just enjoy the performance of the elder Sheen (who didn't get an Emmy for this merely because of the existance of someone named Tony Soprano).

Andre! Andre! Andre!

The Doc. had a number of baseball heroes growing up in the era before steroids. My number one guy--Ryne Sandberg--had already been enshrined in the Hall of Fame after an unjustified wait. One of those arguably fighting it out for the number two slot in my favs (not necessarily the best mind you, just my favs) is Mr. Andre Dawson who finally got the call yesterday after nine years. I don't agree with the selection process. This whole waiting to get in thing makes no sense as a person's statistics don't change over time. I can see maybe in a historical light a person's impact on the game is seen differently--but they don't remove people from the Hall in the light of history, so that argument is weak.

The "Hawk" had over 400 home runs and 300 steals in his career. If you put that in perspective, he's only the third guy in the entire history of baseball to do that--Willie Mays being one and (ugh) Barry Bonds the other. That feat alone puts him in rare climates. He suffered the fate of Montreal for many of the most productive days of his career. If Dawson had been a Yankee--he'd have been a first ballot guy. I remember in 1987 watching Dawson hit 49 home runs back when that was a ridiculous amount. I watched the last week of the season in hope that he would make that magic number of 50 hrs. Seems funny, now. I also watched in awe as Dawson fired throws from right field all over the park--one of the best defensive arms I've seen in watching many a baseball game. I could go on and on--others have done better. Here's to you, Hawk.

As for Roberto Alomar ...well, he should be in. I never liked him but he was a hell of a player. If it makes him feel any better, Joe DiMaggio didn't make it on his first try either.

I also continue to make the case for Bert Blyleven--287 wins and 3701 strikes out for a mega load of crappy teams. Those who say he was never truly dominant lost their argument once Don Sutton was let in with only one 20 win season because he has 300 wins.

Peace.

10 Years: 10 Episodes Survivor: August 23, 2000

The fantastic and creative "Grant" who I gave props to in my 2009 round up for his "Week of..." series on "the book of faces" also had this interesting countdown of his favorite movie for each year in the decade (as opposed to favorite movies of the decade entirely). So I'm stealing his idea. Somewhat blatantly. However, I thought I'd apply it to TV and give you one episode from one show for each year that I (1) caught in its original broadcast and (2) made for great tubeage that year. Yes, I know the end of decade stuff was so last week--but it's never too late for a good Countdown ... right Mr. Olbermann?

________________________________

First up is the finale to the original Survivor. Everything about the show is such a cliche now that it is kinda hard to believe just how damn riviting that first 13 episode run on CBS was the summer of 2000. I got really tired of reality TV real fast thereafter--but I, and America, gathered to see Richard Hatch's butt naked tax evading self weasel his way to a well deserved victory in American Survior I (but not without taking this famous tongue lashing first).

See Ya, 2009 (Yes, I know I'm late)

Yes, Dear Reader, it was my intention to confuse you by waiting until 2010 to provide you my year in review. Why? That’s how I roll (Winner, “overused phrase of 2009”, btw). This way I am able to present you with the ultimate in 2009 lists by blatantly stealing all the good stuff from the previous 1,204,434 best of 2009 lists you’ve already read. Anyhoodles, here’s my list for the ages (or at least for today).

Best Movie I saw in Theater: UP. Sorry Hurt Locker and Up in the Air—you may be winning all the critics kudos but I just haven’t caught you yet. Meanwhile Pixar’s little flick about an old dude with a balloon house packed more emotion into that first five minutes than I’ve seen in a film in quite some time, animated or not. It’s not getting the Oscar buzz that it should because of (1) the animation category and (2) general animation bias from the actors’ branch. Well, screw them, Pixar deserves a Best Pic nom for yet another masterpiece. Runner “Up” (ha, ha, I love me), Inglourious Basterds (pending viewings of those mentioned above).

Most Exhilarating Time at Theater: Avatar 3D/Imax. Go 3D or Go home. Say what you will about the standard plotting, Cameron delivers on the hype with stunning visuals and 3D that adds to, rather than distracts from, the story. Yes, we knew what was going to happen and no, we didn’t care. $1 billion worldwide and counting makes that “most expensive movie ever” thing not so bad, eh. Runner Up: Star Trek. I was skeptical but dammit if J.J. didn’t pull it off (even though the time travel stuff is still a plot cheat).

Good TV:

Favorite Series: Lost. It may not be the best thing on the tube (that’s probably “Mad Men”) but it’s certainly my fav and the 2009 time tripping next to last season was worth every hour spent where I could have been doing something productive. Let’s face it—you want to read Hurley’s draft of “The Empire Strikes Back” from “Some Like it Hoth.” I know you do.

Fav. Single Ep: The Office, Niagara. I didn’t really expect Jim & Pam’s wedding to be anything special but damn if this episode of The Office didn’t just make me laugh harder than anything I’d seen this year. Twins! I love a good set of Twins!

(Runner up: Dollhouse, Epitaph One, probably hear ‘cuz it’s DVD only. The fact that Fox wouldn’t run the erstwhile season one finale makes it hard to believe it picked up Season Two—only to cancel it a few eps in. Ahh, what might have been.)

Fav TV Quote: tie: “A man crying over a chicken and a baby…I thought this was a comedy show.” Alan Alda, guesting on 30 Rock; “I love a good set of Twins” Dwight, The Office (see above).

Bye Bye: Battlestar Galactica. I’m still not sure what to make of the last 45 minutes or so of the finale, but for overall TV and sci-fi quality over its four seasons you get my special Dr. BCH Award for Excellence in Television and Tricia Helfer Parts.




Most Frustrating/Politics: The Senate version of the health care reform act retains most of the authority for our health care decisions in all those fantastic insurance companies that were the reason for this mess in the first place, it stomps all over women’s health care, and it basically requires those without income to make expenditures for insurance that if they could afford, they’d already have. Look, Mr. Pres, I’m with you…have been from the start—but this was one time where I went from thinking “Yes, we can” to “Maybe, we shouldn’t.” Let’s not set arbitrary deadlines and rush to get major policy initiatives complete only to have them done badly and lose public support in the process. The Senate bill sucks. There’s been public health care in this country for years (it’s called Medicare). Give us a public option cuz anything else is just not going to work.

Fav. Quote: Politics: Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) warned Americans that "Republicans want you to die quickly."





Most Frustrating/Sports (tie): Mr. Hendry meet Mr. Milton Bradley, known clubhouse cancer. Thank you so much for giving him $30 million dollars, destroying a season, and then turning him magically into Carlos Silva, pitcher without an arm, ugh. Meanwhile, look over there—Jay Cutler just threw another interception.

Best Book I actually read: Dan Simmons, The Terror, previously reviewed here. I’m pretty sure it was published in ’08, but I didn’t get around to it until ’09. In retrospect, this fictionalized/sci-fi’d account of a north pole excursion gone bad is still a damn good read overall even though I would have preferred a stronger ending. Give it a read. .

Best Book Still on My Shelf: I’ve been sitting on The Given Day by Dennis Lehane for most of 2009. Not sure why as I have enjoyed everything he’s done so far. Looking forward to kicking this off in ’10 and I’ll tell you how it went.

Favorite Tweet: “You came in that. You’re braver than I thought” #GreatStarWarsQuotesDuringSex (author unknown)

Favorite Facebook Read: Mr. Grant Chastain’s “My Week Of..” posts throughout the second half of 2009. “My week of guilty pleasures” is a personal favorite. Friend him and check that stuff out. It’s gold, Jerry…gold.

Favorite Podcast: Galactic Watercooler. Three self proclaimed “unrepentant sci fi geeks” and just good pals sitting around shooting the bull about sci fi and related topics. My new favorite phrase, “Mordor should have had a better legal department” is just one shining example of the joy spewed weekly from these guys. It’s just plain fun. Available for free on ITunes and at http://www.galacticwatercooler.com/.


Okay peeps, that’s it for now—mostly cuz I’m outta time. Later maybe I’ll treat you to some best of ’00-’09 now that I have your attention. Peace.

Here we go again! Don't call it a comeback!!!

Morning Dear Reader,*

I am sure you spent many a day wondering where the Dr. had gone off too the later half of 2009. Well, of course, I had my missionary work in Africa to tend to, my detailed medical research into a cure for Grossmancutlershousen syndrome**, and my daily three p.m. snack to arrange.

Still, one might say the Dr. had grown complacent at the beginning of 2009. The Evil Lord Doofus and his Bald, heart-addled minions had finally left the House of White ... The Wicked Witch of Alaska had been soundly sent back to her frosty lair (I had hoped not to be seen again, sigh) ... and the Senate Version of the Health Care Bill was 11 months away...those were good times. I just didn't feel like ranting all that much.

Ahhhh, but the more things change the more they stay the same. As we enter into 2010 I have come to realize that I NEED TO RANT!!! Oh, do I ever need to rant!!! So as one of those resolutiony thingys people talk about this time of year I have returned to the site of the great rants of Fall 2008. My goal is to be on here at least once a week (if not more) and If I haven't posted then--please, dear reader, call me out!! To relieve my own pent up agression*** and for the safety of all others on this rock we call Earth--the Emporium of Rants and Ravings is starting over. Tell your friends (and feel free to contribute Guest Rants of your own).

New Year, New Rants.

Peace.


*As always, the singular is intended based upon anticipated readership.
**The horrible disease that causes people with normal eyesight to fail to see obvious safeties and cornerbacks.
***Also to talk about movies, books, TV and all that other non ranty stuff we like to address here on the Emporium.

Short Rounds

A few short things on the Dr.'s mind tonight:

***

I'm watching the Michael Jackson Memorial Footage on You Tube as I type this. I'm enjoying the music immensely, touched by the versions of "We are the World" and "Heal the World," but can't help thinking there's an unfortunate number of children on that stage. It's a damn shame that the man's legacy will be a ridiculous talent with horrificly inappropriate behavior towards young boys..

*****

"I am not a quitter. I am a fighter," Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told CNN on Monday, July 7.

Um....excuse me...but...well...here's the thing...

Dear Soon to Be Ex-Gov. and Future Footnote, please be advised:

Quitter

Quit"ter\, n. 1. One who quits. Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998

Apparently, Gov. Youbetcha also told CNN: "She resigned because of the tremendous pressure, time and financial burden of a litany of ethics complaints in the past several months..."

I'm certain there's absolutely no pressure in the job of President of the United States. Seems like a cakewalk. I'm sure that mean David Letterman will leave her alone once she's President...

*****

Former Titans QB Steve McNair's death in let's say a "suspiciously murder/suicide-ish manner" over the weekend has drawn a lot of commentary from the perpetually dumb. The man had some issues in his personal life there can be no doubt. Can we maybe try to remember, though, the differences between a dude who was a football player, and, say, a Pope.

I was listening to a little sports talk radio yesterday (WSCR, AM 670 The Score, Chicago, 'natch) and a listener who could be generously described as a "$&#$&#*" called in to give the brilliant opinion that because the man was allegedly an adulterer, he "deserved what he got." So the penalty for cheating is now...death by handgun.

Hmmmm, the so-called "moral" America, eh? If only there were a guidebook, maybe something containing a story...maybe even a parable... where there could be some insights into how to live one's life...maybe there could be a part with a chick with an adulterous past is about to be severely punished (rocks, maybe? I hear they hurt). Then--listen this is when it gets good-- someone, a venerable figure with a beard perhaps (I'm thinking a Jim Caviezel or Willem Dafoe type) steps in and says, in his best action hero voice "There any of you jackasses who think you're perfect-- you go ahead and fire away?" Man, that would be so cool.

*****

Speaking of the idiot masses, let's talk Fourth of July. Don't get me wrong, I love the Fourth. I like BBQ. I like fireworks. I like sparklers. I like flags. Here's my bitch. During my local fireworks show (surprisingly impressive considering many of the surrounding towns canceled due to the economy) I was treated to the following musical accompaniment with my fireworks:

1) The Star Spangled Banner--- Acceptable and expected.

2) God Bless America--Ditto.

3) God Bless the U.S.A.--Overused? Cliche? Yes, Yes, by God, Yes. However, is the sentiment appropriate? Certainly. Plus, it's pretty much a tradition at this point.

4) Born in the U.S.A.-- Well...it's Springsteen, which is cool. If you bother to listen to the lyrics the song is obviously about veterans coming home and feeling abandoned by the government and fellow citizens they risked their lives for...but, again, it's the Boss, so I'll forgive.

It's still not as unfortunate as...

5) Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue.

Let's examine, shall we:

The Star Spangled Banner:

"Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

That appears to be a stirring tribute to our nation's flag standing proud... announcing to our troops that the flag continues as a beacon of liberty despite times of adversity.

Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue. (The great poet, Toby Keith)

"Hey, Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist.
And the eagle will fly and it's gonna be hell,
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell.
And it'll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you.
Ah, brought to you, courtesy of the red, white and blue."

Ahhh, that is in fact a redneck jingoistic paean to bombing the living hell out of mostly innocent civilian the majority of whom did nothing wrong except for being brownish and praying to the West once in awhile.

I don't want to spend my future holiday's being reminded of the lies, deceptions and, yes, murders disguised by borders perpetuated during the previous Administration..maybe that's just me.

--30--