Short Rounds

A few short things on the Dr.'s mind tonight:

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I'm watching the Michael Jackson Memorial Footage on You Tube as I type this. I'm enjoying the music immensely, touched by the versions of "We are the World" and "Heal the World," but can't help thinking there's an unfortunate number of children on that stage. It's a damn shame that the man's legacy will be a ridiculous talent with horrificly inappropriate behavior towards young boys..

*****

"I am not a quitter. I am a fighter," Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin told CNN on Monday, July 7.

Um....excuse me...but...well...here's the thing...

Dear Soon to Be Ex-Gov. and Future Footnote, please be advised:

Quitter

Quit"ter\, n. 1. One who quits. Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary, © 1996, 1998

Apparently, Gov. Youbetcha also told CNN: "She resigned because of the tremendous pressure, time and financial burden of a litany of ethics complaints in the past several months..."

I'm certain there's absolutely no pressure in the job of President of the United States. Seems like a cakewalk. I'm sure that mean David Letterman will leave her alone once she's President...

*****

Former Titans QB Steve McNair's death in let's say a "suspiciously murder/suicide-ish manner" over the weekend has drawn a lot of commentary from the perpetually dumb. The man had some issues in his personal life there can be no doubt. Can we maybe try to remember, though, the differences between a dude who was a football player, and, say, a Pope.

I was listening to a little sports talk radio yesterday (WSCR, AM 670 The Score, Chicago, 'natch) and a listener who could be generously described as a "$&#$&#*" called in to give the brilliant opinion that because the man was allegedly an adulterer, he "deserved what he got." So the penalty for cheating is now...death by handgun.

Hmmmm, the so-called "moral" America, eh? If only there were a guidebook, maybe something containing a story...maybe even a parable... where there could be some insights into how to live one's life...maybe there could be a part with a chick with an adulterous past is about to be severely punished (rocks, maybe? I hear they hurt). Then--listen this is when it gets good-- someone, a venerable figure with a beard perhaps (I'm thinking a Jim Caviezel or Willem Dafoe type) steps in and says, in his best action hero voice "There any of you jackasses who think you're perfect-- you go ahead and fire away?" Man, that would be so cool.

*****

Speaking of the idiot masses, let's talk Fourth of July. Don't get me wrong, I love the Fourth. I like BBQ. I like fireworks. I like sparklers. I like flags. Here's my bitch. During my local fireworks show (surprisingly impressive considering many of the surrounding towns canceled due to the economy) I was treated to the following musical accompaniment with my fireworks:

1) The Star Spangled Banner--- Acceptable and expected.

2) God Bless America--Ditto.

3) God Bless the U.S.A.--Overused? Cliche? Yes, Yes, by God, Yes. However, is the sentiment appropriate? Certainly. Plus, it's pretty much a tradition at this point.

4) Born in the U.S.A.-- Well...it's Springsteen, which is cool. If you bother to listen to the lyrics the song is obviously about veterans coming home and feeling abandoned by the government and fellow citizens they risked their lives for...but, again, it's the Boss, so I'll forgive.

It's still not as unfortunate as...

5) Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue.

Let's examine, shall we:

The Star Spangled Banner:

"Oh, say can you see by the dawn's early light
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming?
Whose broad stripes and bright stars thru the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched were so gallantly streaming?
And the rocket's red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there.
Oh, say does that star-spangled banner yet wave
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?"

That appears to be a stirring tribute to our nation's flag standing proud... announcing to our troops that the flag continues as a beacon of liberty despite times of adversity.

Courtesy of the Red, White & Blue. (The great poet, Toby Keith)

"Hey, Uncle Sam put your name at the top of his list,
And the Statue of Liberty started shaking her fist.
And the eagle will fly and it's gonna be hell,
When you hear Mother Freedom start ringing her bell.
And it'll feel like the whole wide world is raining down on you.
Ah, brought to you, courtesy of the red, white and blue."

Ahhh, that is in fact a redneck jingoistic paean to bombing the living hell out of mostly innocent civilian the majority of whom did nothing wrong except for being brownish and praying to the West once in awhile.

I don't want to spend my future holiday's being reminded of the lies, deceptions and, yes, murders disguised by borders perpetuated during the previous Administration..maybe that's just me.

--30--

I'm back..

Hey peeps, if you are still out there....the grind of trying this daily blog stuff eventually led to me forgetting one day..and then another..and then, well, you see it's been some time. To cure this, I've signed on with a couple peeps and together we don't have to work as hard, lol, and you can catch our rants and ravings over at...


http://rocketshipofthemind.blogspot.com/


Enjoy. It's good to be back.

There's a reason people tend to like ex-presidents once they are out of office.

I've been known to throw some harsh on W. but props go where props are deserved. There's sort of an unwritten rule that the most recent ex-president doesn't criticize the new administration in the first few months of the office. Sort of a "respect for the job" kinda deal. I get it. They are in an elite club and, politics aside, they uniquely understand the stresses of the gig. It's good to hear George is abiding by this principle even after being (deservedly) but viciously attacked in the Fall election

"Getting two standing ovations at his first speech since leaving office, former President George W. Bush said that if President Obama wants help, “he can pick up the phone and call.” Otherwise, Bush said: “He deserves my silence.” “There's plenty of critics in the arena,” Bush told a crowd in Calgary, Canada. “I think it's time for the ex-president to tap dance off the stage and let the current president have a go at solving the world's problems. If he wants my help and I agree with him, I'll give it.”

Of course, George being George, he couldn't help but stick his foot in his mouth once...

"I actually paid for a house last fall. I think I'm the only American to have bought a house in the fall of 2008.” Ohhhhhhh, not good.

Anyway, if only the prince of Darkness would abide by the same rules of consideration...course, he never had much class...

"This stands in sharp contrast with former Vice President Dick Cheney, who has twice hammered Obama in media interviews."

Read the rest at Politico.

There May Be Such a Thing as Too Much Giant Blue Penis

Ahh, the allegedly unfilmable fanboy's wet dream has finally arrived. Caught it last night, and I have to say, if you have read the Graphic Novel the Watchmen, and are a fanboy/fangirl, there's absolutely no reason to complain. Frankly, it's remarkably faithful in its adaptation. Yes, there's a conceptual change at the end that I won't ruin--but frankly it makes a heck of a lot of sense and it has no impact on the themes put forth by Moore and Gibbons originally. I may go so far as to say this is the most faithful cinematic adaptation of a written work that I've ever seen...I'd have to think about it a bit, but it's pretty damn close...

If I have any complaints, it's maybe too faithful. Yes, Dr. Manhattan is nude quite often in the graphic novel--but every time his blue penis showed up on screen the teenagers behind me in the audience started giggling and commenting (thus taking me out of the experience of the film). Most of the time, it wouldn't have hurt to throw that speedo back on the dude. I suppose this experience will be lessened by watching on video.

Also, Malin Ackerman is a little wooden at times-- (she's not "the worst actress in Hollywood as Mr. Philips claimed in the Trib)--but her line readings can be a little stiff. She MORE than makes up for it in the candy, eye department.

The only true disappointment I maybe have is that in the very first scene, there's an obvious early reveal that doesn't happen in the source material, and it kinda makes the later "ahh ahhh" moment less dramatic. Perhaps Snyder and Co. thought most of the audience would know this anyway, but judging by what I was hearing behind me in the theater, I think that's a misjudgment.

I'm with Roger Ebert on this one. There's a lot going on here and it's probably worth two viewings before making an overall judgment. Still, if you like comics, if you are fan of the original source material, it's mostly all on screen here for you. Don't Bitch.

Peace.

I'll Look Down and Whisper "No"...

Just a day and a half until the 12:01 midnight premier of Watchmen--and I have to admit if I hadn't been so stupid as to schedule something Friday morning work-wise, I'd have my ass in the theater at midnight (three hour run time be damned).

For what's it worth, the reviews are flowing like the blood of the Comedian (yea, geek reference) and they are decidedly mixed.

There's a great round up of the wanna be Eberts at an LA Times Blog, here.

I'm gonna take author Brad Meltzer's advice: "You have to go see it and decide for yourself. You have to. Don't read reviews. Don't be influenced. Make your own decision (just like when the comic came out). " Frankly, that's pretty good advice in regards to all forms of Art, and I shall exercise that idea right now as I listen to the new U2, "No Line on the Horizon" for the first time right now. Peace.

Dang, That Sounds Cold.

Last week, I missed most of my prime TV watching time because I finally picked up my copy of The Terror by Dan Simmons and dove in. I'd gotten the expansive novel for Xmas and it was on the vastly growing pile of books I planned on reading but sometimes never did. Once I started, though, it became a little difficult to put down, and I plowed through it like it was a cool piece of banana cream pie (with a couple of bad bites here and there).

Simmons mixes a true story with a bit of a supernatural spike (if you've ever read Simmons before, that's to be expected). From the beginning, it appears this is going to be a more grounded, semi-fact based account of the crew of two Ships in the English discovery service that in reality disappeared while exploring the Arctic north and trying to find their way thorough the mythical "north west passage." Apparently, "In 1845, the British sent forth an expedition to find the Northwest Passage. HMS Erebus and HMS Terror left with a combined crew of 129 men, led by Sir John Franklin and Francis Crozier. The ships disappeared, and the ensuing search lasted more than thirty years."*
Of course, this being Simmons--probably best known (or, at least to me) from authorship of the Hyperion series of science fiction novels--it's not enough to portray a harrowing account of men stuck on frozen ships in the Arctic Circle, running out of supplies, trapped by the hubris of one commanding officer (Franklin) and being given a slim chance of survival through the sheer will of another Captain (Crozier)...he's gotta add a snow monster.
This isn't just any regular monster, of course, it's a mythological creature of Eskimo creation ("Esquimaux", natch, in the novel) that turns out to live off both human flesh and the soothing song of a Lady without a Tongue (Yeah, don't ask...just read).

I found The Terror to be both fascinating and frustrating. It worked on a ridiculously high level when describing the "real life" trauma the crew faced frozen in time, surviving the unsurvivable, desperately waiting for a spring thaw that didn't come until it was too late. The exquisite detail and descriptions of the workings of these 19th century explorer ships had me feeling the wind in my face and the chill down to my bones. Then came the monster. Frankly, I'm not sure it was necessary. The tale was working well on its own merits without the dip into the Eskimo legend (plus, the thing bears pun intended too much in common with Simmons own "Shrike" created for the Hyperion novels). The ice monster took me out of the reality that Simmons created so memorably in the rest of the novel.

Nevertheless, I'm giving The Terror a high recommendation because (1) the intricately described adventure in the Arctic is worth the time even if you find yourself distracted by the unnecessary supernatural elements and (2) once I picked it up I couldn't put the damn thing down--which is really how one should judge these things.

Next up in the pile, I have either Christopher Buckley's Boomtown or Dennis Lehane's The Given Day. I'll let you know.





*Read some press, here.

Stop Pissing Me Off, Conservative Crazies...

From CNN's Poltical Ticker:

"WASHINGTON (CNN) – Another prominent Republican told the Conservative Political Action Conference on Friday that the president’s spending plans are pushing the country to the brink of socialism.

Sen. Jim DeMint of South Carolina, the only member of the senate to earn a perfect rating from the American Conservative Union, called President Obama “the world’s best salesman of socialism” on Friday in describing his prime time speech earlier this week.

DeMint, a fierce opponent of government expansion, told the CPAC crowd that conservatives might have to “take to the streets to stop America’s slide into socialism.”

His remarks comes a day after Mike Huckabee told the conference of conservative activists that “the Union of American Socialist Republics is being born” with the president’s stimulus package.

“Lenin and Stalin would love this stuff,” Huckabee said of the government bailing out financial institutions."


You couldn't have had a more business friendly environment than you had for the last eight years under President Doofus, and we all saw what happened right? Come on...what would you propose that the Government should do--let the free market roam unchecked, watch as all of the banks and financial institutions collapse, and we fall even farther into depression.

Your cries of "socialism" disgust me. Eight years of tax cuts for the wealthy and complete negligence at the governmental watchdog agencies nearly destroyed us. No one has a perfect plan for fixing the problem, but if you can't come up with something helpful other than the same old name calling, then shut the fuck up.

What's with these guys lately

I make these shots all the time.

Every Year I Watch and I Don't Know Why...

Hugh... Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. Bad. You could maybe have saved it by pulling out the claws and taking Mickey Rourke on...but other than that. Bad. And don't try to sing with Beyonce again. Ever. Leave the woman be.

Slumdog Overload... Bad. Sure, everyone who has seen it has said it's excellent, and, it's not fair to comment probably until I check it out...yet, it sure made for a boring, suspenseless show.

Kate Winslet... Good award, probably more like a lifetime achievement award than for this particular movie...Bad dress. Come on, you're a hottie, (see, Little Children, Washing Machine).

The aforementioned Beyonce. Good. Not a fan of your normal pop stuff, but who can deny you have the pipes.

Mickey Rourke losing to Sean Penn for Best Actor. Bad. Sean Penn's acceptance speech. Good. "You commie homo loving sons of b's...." Come on, perfect.

Ben Stiller and Natalie Portman. Funny and Yummy.

Tina Fey and Steve Martin. Good. Let them host. Please, let them host. Spare us the bad, bad Jackman...

The five on five award presentations for the major awards. Kinda cool. I'd say keep it, but it would probably lose it's luster after awhile.

The fact that all the winners were basically known before the ceremony... Crappy. I need a couple of surprises to get me through the night. Although, that being said, I'm still glad Heath got his well deserved posthumous award.