So the Hall of Fame announced that Andre Dawson will be going in with an Expos hat on his plaque instead of a Cubs cap. To this, Cubs fans, I say to you--so freakin' what. I'll let you in on a little secret--immediately under the pseudo bust with the famous cap will be an engraved listing of all the teams Andre played on, and the Cubs will be there. Nowadays, players move around so much does it really matter what cap is shown on the Hall of Fame plaque? So few players make the Hall, let's just be happy one of our favs is finally being recognized. Does it make sense for the cap to have the logo of a team that no longer exists? Marketingwise, no. Still, the Hawk played almost twice as many seasons in Montreal than he did in Chi-town. The weekend after he was inducted I had the pleasure of having a baseball signed by Andre at a prescheduled event. The fact that his Hall of Fame cap is from Montreal doesn't make that any less awesome to me.
Okay, kids, time for a mad dash to the finish as this 10 eps 10 years thing has been as delayed as a new Bendis issue of Powers (that’s for you, SPM).
2006 How I Met Your Mother: The Slap Bet November 20, 2006
More great eps from The Wire, The Shield and BSG this year, but for pure entertainment purposes, How I Met Your Mother hits the list for ’06 with the series’ classic ep: The slap bet. The episode is a perfect example of the Hitchcockian theory that it’s the suspense of potential violence that will actually kill ya….as NPH’s Barney waits for the slaps to the face that he knows are coming…sometime…anytime…. (Available clip is a music video, but you get the point)
2007
Lost Through The Looking Glass May 23, 2007
Spoiler Alert: This is the one that took the show and turned it freakin’ upside down. One sentence: “We have to go back, Kate!” and suddenly the viewer realizes that instead of one of the Losties patented flashbacks, we’ve suddenly jumped forward—some crazy stuff has no doubt occurred and some of these guys actually did get off the island, the why and how and what the heck waiting for the next year’s reveal.
2008
Tie: The Shield Family Meeting November 25, 2008 The Wire -30- March 9, 2008
I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t pick between the final episodes of two of the best in tv, I’d argue, ever. I can’t even describe ‘em properly. Just watch the shows. WATCH THEM on a dvd player near you.
2009 The Office, Niagara, October 8, 2009
Well this one shouldn’t be a surprise, as in an earlier post I went with The Office’s “Niagara” as the show that, maybe wasn’t the best of the year, but made me laugh as hard as anything I can remember. Now just the word “Twins” makes me giggle a bit.
So there ya have it, it took awhile, but there’s my list of 10 great television episodes from 2000 to 2009. Go watch ‘em, you’ll be glad you did.
The Doc's a big supporter, and understandably you have a lot on your plate, but, still...
YOUR PARTY LOST TED KENNEDY's SEAT!!! TED FREAKING KENNEDY's SEAT!!!!
This is deserving of a very, very long rant. Nevertheless, I have to do some actual work, so more ranting will come later. But GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, please!
No one understands how your Health Care Bill is actually going to help provide Health Care. The voters are scared. They have no jobs. They have no health care. We still have troops in Iraq and we still have Prisoners in Guantanamo. Promises of change were made (you think?) AND WE AIN'T SEEING IT.
You were masterful in the campaign at getting out your message. YOU HAVE DROPPED THE BALL. GET YOUR HEAD IN THE GAME, sir, BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.
While booing Jack Clark yesterday, he of the 350 some honest home runs and honest opinions about the game of baseball and the use of performance enhancers, and cheering your chemically induced overgrown self deluded cheater* (look, the guy even lied in a milk ad, I mean come on) did you ever stop to think whether this is the best guy for YOUR team? That is what it is supposed to be about, right? Winning? That's what I hear from Cards fans, we love winning. So, you hire a guy with a lifetime .263 batting average, who has admitted that his best years involved 10 years of product use, who has never been a hitting coach before to take care of the batters on a team that by all rights should be in competition again this year for the playoffs if not the World Series. Is this the best hitting coach available for your team out of everyone out there who has been a hitting coach? Or is this Tony LaRussa's personal Big Mac redemption plan at the expense of the best interests of the team? Certainly, the presence of this man isn't going to be a year long distraction--the media will no doubt honor his desire to make one half assed apology and let it go, right? This won't come up in every city around the league over and over again all year long, it just can't...right? Idiots.
*as a Cub fan, I fully admit to having and having cheered in the past for one of these, too.
So it's taken me most of January to just get up to 2005 on my 10 episodes list--cut me some slack, I'm going through a whole decade here, 'natch
So here's one that may be in the running for fav. of the dec, not just this particular year. The reboot of BSG ended in 2009, but this episode, the very first one after the opening mini-series, still stands as one of the most entertaining hour this fantastic series offered during its run. The plot: nearly all of the human race having been wiped out just a short time past, the human survivors ("in a ragtag fugitive fleet," of course) are followed by their attackers and for some damn reason the bastard Cylon "toasters" show up every 33 minutes on the dot to do some mo' killing. The mounting tension as an exhausted group of pilots attempt to continually defend a fleet on the verge of collapse before it can even get started on its journey is combined with a ballsy ending makes for a hell of a start to the series and puts the fearless viewer on notice that a hell of a ride is underway.
This year was a tough call for my 10/10 decision. Lost premiered with a fantastic pilot in September and a great episode with Locke's backstory called "Walkabout." The Wire had a great season (every season was great, of course) that I don't want to spoil cuz at least one reader hasn't seen yet!. Then, I thought, the finale of Angel was great, representative Joss stuff.
Still, in looking back at eps from 2004 that I saw at the time they aired the one that made me go "daaaaaaaaamn" viscerally was the Sopranos "Long Term Parking." This clip above gives you a little flavor of the excruciating extended tension that the episode gave us. You know what's coming, you don't want to watch, yet...you do anyway. That's good TV.
American Red Cross: Send a $10 Donation by Texting ‘Haiti’ to 90999
Clinton Foundation: provide immediate relief and long-term support to earthquake survivors. Text "HAITI" to 20222 and $10 will be donated to relief efforts, charged to your cell phone bill.
Most hospitals are destroyed or not functional Visit Doctors Without Borders if that's your thing: www.doctorswithoutborders.org
There are obviously many, many other agency looking for help. I'd go with an established one to be on the safe side but choose your preference. According to news reports, they aren't seeking traveling volunteers (too risky) or for you to send supplies (too chaotic) but any donation you can make will get to those trained in disaster relief, so do what you can. (And in the meantime if you want to boycott those like Rush and Pat that want to turn this into a racial/political issue, that would be cool, too).
Ahead of its time, predictive of the economic meltdown and corporate crazyness that marked the end of the 00's, and just damn, damn, damn funny, Arrested Development was hands down, funniest comedy of the decade (30 Rock you came so very close). If you haven't picked up the DVD's (regularly on sale at Target for $14 or so) then I scoff at you. That is right--I scoff. I can't think of a bad episode over its unfortunately shortened three year run (same old Fox story, multiple time slots, failure to market, etc., etc.) The show premiered in '03 and episode two: "Top Banana" is as good as any to recognize! Check out pre-Superbad Michael Cera stealing the show constantly. And, keep in mind, there's always money in a banana stand.
24 shouldn't have worked. In 2001-2002, Kiefer Sutherland was considered way past his prime after some decent movies in the 80s and was maybe best known for having ruined a relationship/engagement with Julia Roberts by allegedly enjoying strippers a little too (allegedly) much (but really, don't we all). Further, tv studios just don't like producing shows that require one to watch continuous episodes in a row because that's not where the syndication money lies. And then, strike three, right before the pilot aired with a plot involving a plane being blown up, the U.S. suffered the worst attack on its soil since Pearl Harbor--involving, you know, planes and some seriously disturbing blowing up images.
But 24 worked. Eight seasons later it's still kicking. Yes, Jack Bauer has had some ridiculously bad days. Yes, the Constitutional structure is kinda taking a beating cuz there've been way too many Presidents on this show. And, yes, season 1 has way too much of his daughter and a cougar. However, Season 1 also has the fantastic Dennis Haysbert in a charismatic performance as our first African American presidential candiate with "a real chance of winning" ('natch, who knew), and this ep, the end of Season 1, was a non stop thrill ride (spoiler alert) where Jack's wife is killed needlessly at the end as an act of revenge after you think the happy ending just hap'd. The finale of S1 established the reason I still watch the show today. You never know what kinda crazy shit the producers are gonna pull next. It's still a freaking thrill ride. (Sure, Kiefer is still a little wild offscreen, lol, but damn if that crazy doesn't come off great on the tube.)
(The clip below contains scenes from the first three years of 24--but it gives you the point)
Replacing Aaron Sorkin with John Wells for Season Four of the West Wing equates hypothetically to replacing Roger Ebert with, well, me (not a good idea, if you were wondering). The first three seasons of The West Wing I submit to you are as strong a body of work ever put on the home screen. That work arguably hit its zenith with the finale of Season Two. President Bartlet and God have a good old fashion mano-a mano showdown in the National Cathedral regarding the loss of treasured friend and presidental secretary Dolores Landingham in a meaningless car accident. Put your politics at the door and just enjoy the performance of the elder Sheen (who didn't get an Emmy for this merely because of the existance of someone named Tony Soprano).
The Doc. had a number of baseball heroes growing up in the era before steroids. My number one guy--RyneSandberg--had already been enshrined in the Hall of Fame after an unjustified wait. One of those arguably fighting it out for the number two slot in my favs (not necessarily the best mind you, just my favs) is Mr. Andre Dawson who finally got the call yesterday after nine years. I don't agree with the selection process. This whole waiting to get in thing makes no sense as a person's statistics don't change over time. I can see maybe in a historical light a person's impact on the game is seen differently--but they don't remove people from the Hall in the light of history, so that argument is weak.
The "Hawk" had over 400 home runs and 300 steals in his career. If you put that in perspective, he's only the third guy in the entire history of baseball to do that--Willie Mays being one and (ugh) Barry Bonds the other. That feat alone puts him in rare climates. He suffered the fate of Montreal for many of the most productive days of his career. If Dawson had been a Yankee--he'd have been a first ballot guy. I remember in 1987 watching Dawson hit 49 home runs back when that was a ridiculous amount. I watched the last week of the season in hope that he would make that magic number of 50 hrs. Seems funny, now. I also watched in awe as Dawson fired throws from right field all over the park--one of the best defensive arms I've seen in watching many a baseball game. I could go on and on--others have done better. Here's to you, Hawk.
As for Roberto Alomar ...well, he should be in. I never liked him but he was a hell of a player. If it makes him feel any better, Joe DiMaggio didn't make it on his first try either.
I also continue to make the case for Bert Blyleven--287 wins and 3701 strikes out for a mega load of crappy teams. Those who say he was never truly dominant lost their argument once Don Sutton was let in with only one 20 win season because he has 300 wins.
The fantastic and creative "Grant" who I gave props to in my 2009 round up for his "Week of..." series on "the book of faces" also had this interesting countdown of his favorite movie for each year in the decade (as opposed to favorite movies of the decade entirely). So I'm stealing his idea. Somewhat blatantly. However, I thought I'd apply it to TV and give you one episode from one show for each year that I (1) caught in its original broadcast and (2) made for great tubeage that year. Yes, I know the end of decade stuff was so last week--but it's never too late for a good Countdown ... right Mr. Olbermann?
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First up is the finale to the original Survivor. Everything about the show is such a cliche now that it is kinda hard to believe just how damn riviting that first 13 episode run on CBS was the summer of 2000. I got really tired of reality TV real fast thereafter--but I, and America, gathered to see Richard Hatch's butt naked tax evading self weasel his way to a well deserved victory in American Survior I (but not without taking this famous tongue lashing first).
Yes, Dear Reader, it was my intention to confuse you by waiting until 2010 to provide you my year in review. Why? That’s how I roll (Winner, “overused phrase of 2009”, btw). This way I am able to present you with the ultimate in 2009 lists by blatantly stealing all the good stuff from the previous 1,204,434 best of 2009 lists you’ve already read. Anyhoodles, here’s my list for the ages (or at least for today). Best Movie I saw in Theater: UP. Sorry Hurt Locker and Up in the Air—you may be winning all the critics kudos but I just haven’t caught you yet. Meanwhile Pixar’s little flick about an old dude with a balloon house packed more emotion into that first five minutes than I’ve seen in a film in quite some time, animated or not. It’s not getting the Oscar buzz that it should because of (1) the animation category and (2) general animation bias from the actors’ branch. Well, screw them, Pixar deserves a Best Pic nom for yet another masterpiece. Runner “Up” (ha, ha, I love me), Inglourious Basterds (pending viewings of those mentioned above).
Most Exhilarating Time at Theater: Avatar 3D/Imax. Go 3D or Go home. Say what you will about the standard plotting, Cameron delivers on the hype with stunning visuals and 3D that adds to, rather than distracts from, the story. Yes, we knew what was going to happen and no, we didn’t care. $1 billion worldwide and counting makes that “most expensive movie ever” thing not so bad, eh. Runner Up: Star Trek. I was skeptical but dammit if J.J. didn’t pull it off (even though the time travel stuff is still a plot cheat).
Good TV:
Favorite Series: Lost. It may not be the best thing on the tube (that’s probably “Mad Men”) but it’s certainly my fav and the 2009 time tripping next to last season was worth every hour spent where I could have been doing something productive. Let’s face it—you want to read Hurley’s draft of “The Empire Strikes Back” from “Some Like it Hoth.” I know you do.
Fav. Single Ep: The Office, Niagara. I didn’t really expect Jim & Pam’s wedding to be anything special but damn if this episode of The Office didn’t just make me laugh harder than anything I’d seen this year. Twins! I love a good set of Twins!
(Runner up: Dollhouse, Epitaph One, probably hear ‘cuz it’s DVD only. The fact that Fox wouldn’t run the erstwhile season one finale makes it hard to believe it picked up Season Two—only to cancel it a few eps in. Ahh, what might have been.)
Fav TV Quote: tie: “A man crying over a chicken and a baby…I thought this was a comedy show.” Alan Alda, guesting on 30 Rock; “I love a good set of Twins” Dwight, The Office (see above).
Bye Bye: Battlestar Galactica. I’m still not sure what to make of the last 45 minutes or so of the finale, but for overall TV and sci-fi quality over its four seasons you get my special Dr. BCH Award for Excellence in Television and Tricia Helfer Parts.
Most Frustrating/Politics: The Senate version of the health care reform act retains most of the authority for our health care decisions in all those fantastic insurance companies that were the reason for this mess in the first place, it stomps all over women’s health care, and it basically requires those without income to make expenditures for insurance that if they could afford, they’d already have. Look, Mr. Pres, I’m with you…have been from the start—but this was one time where I went from thinking “Yes, we can” to “Maybe, we shouldn’t.” Let’s not set arbitrary deadlines and rush to get major policy initiatives complete only to have them done badly and lose public support in the process. The Senate bill sucks. There’s been public health care in this country for years (it’s called Medicare). Give us a public option cuz anything else is just not going to work.
Fav. Quote: Politics: Rep. Alan Grayson (D-Fla.) warned Americans that "Republicans want you to die quickly."
Most Frustrating/Sports (tie): Mr. Hendry meet Mr. Milton Bradley, known clubhouse cancer. Thank you so much for giving him $30 million dollars, destroying a season, and then turning him magically into Carlos Silva, pitcher without an arm, ugh. Meanwhile, look over there—Jay Cutler just threw another interception.
Best Book I actually read: Dan Simmons, The Terror, previously reviewed here. I’m pretty sure it was published in ’08, but I didn’t get around to it until ’09. In retrospect, this fictionalized/sci-fi’d account of a north pole excursion gone bad is still a damn good read overall even though I would have preferred a stronger ending. Give it a read. .
Best Book Still on My Shelf: I’ve been sitting on The Given Day by Dennis Lehane for most of 2009. Not sure why as I have enjoyed everything he’s done so far. Looking forward to kicking this off in ’10 and I’ll tell you how it went.
Favorite Tweet: “You came in that. You’re braver than I thought” #GreatStarWarsQuotesDuringSex (author unknown)
Favorite Facebook Read: Mr. Grant Chastain’s “My Week Of..” posts throughout the second half of 2009. “My week of guilty pleasures” is a personal favorite. Friend him and check that stuff out. It’s gold, Jerry…gold.
Favorite Podcast: Galactic Watercooler. Three self proclaimed “unrepentant sci fi geeks” and just good pals sitting around shooting the bull about sci fi and related topics. My new favorite phrase, “Mordor should have had a better legal department” is just one shining example of the joy spewed weekly from these guys. It’s just plain fun. Available for free on ITunes and at http://www.galacticwatercooler.com/.
Okay peeps, that’s it for now—mostly cuz I’m outta time. Later maybe I’ll treat you to some best of ’00-’09 now that I have your attention. Peace.
I am sure you spent many a day wondering where the Dr. had gone off too the later half of 2009. Well, of course, I had my missionary work in Africa to tend to, my detailed medical research into a cure for Grossmancutlershousen syndrome**, and my daily three p.m. snack to arrange.
Still, one might say the Dr. had grown complacent at the beginning of 2009. The Evil Lord Doofus and his Bald, heart-addled minions had finally left the House of White ... The Wicked Witch of Alaska had been soundly sent back to her frosty lair (I had hoped not to be seen again, sigh) ... and the Senate Version of the Health Care Bill was 11 months away...those were good times. I just didn't feel like ranting all that much.
Ahhhh, but the more things change the more they stay the same. As we enter into 2010 I have come to realize that I NEED TO RANT!!! Oh, do I ever need to rant!!! So as one of those resolutiony thingys people talk about this time of year I have returned to the site of the great rants of Fall 2008. My goal is to be on here at least once a week (if not more) and If I haven't posted then--please, dear reader, call me out!! To relieve my own pent up agression*** and for the safety of all others on this rock we call Earth--the Emporium of Rants and Ravings is starting over. Tell your friends (and feel free to contribute Guest Rants of your own).
New Year, New Rants.
Peace.
*As always, the singular is intended based upon anticipated readership. **The horrible disease that causes people with normal eyesight to fail to see obvious safeties and cornerbacks. ***Also to talk about movies, books, TV and all that other non ranty stuff we like to address here on the Emporium.
"Let them know, under no certain circumstances, will I give the government control over my body and my health care decisions." Rep. Michele Backmann (R-MN, also bat shit crazy), a pro-lifer who kinda doesn't understand irony.
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